Narcissistic Spouse – How Do We Deal With It

Is your wife the kind of person that stays for hours in front of a lighted vanity makeup mirror, obsessed with arranging and straightening her hair or doing her makeup again and again? Is your husband the kind who cares more about his own wellbeing than that of the family? If the answer is yes, if your spouse is absorbed and obsessed with the image he or she projects, chances are they have a narcissistic personality disorder.

There are several signs which may signal narcissism in a person: the narcissist loves to talk about himself and is not interested in your views or opinions, loves breaking rules and social norms, disregards other people’s thoughts or feelings, expects special treatment from others, has an exaggerated sense of self-importance, enjoys spreading negative emotions and manipulating others. If some or all of these characteristics can be found in the case of your wife or husband, it is high time you should begin to worry: most relationships with a person with narcissistic personality disorder end in some sort of emotional or even physical abuse.

Relations with a narcissistic partner are usually charming at the beginning, but they soon start to become a true nightmare. Over time, you will find yourself increasingly irritated, frustrated, stressed and emotionally hurt by them. One other thing a narcissistic person is really good at is making you lose your level of self-esteem. Thus, if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, probably the best thing you could do would be to just break up with him. But sometimes things aren’t just that simple. If you are really attached to that person and you consider he or she is worth the effort of making things work, no matter what efforts that may take, here are some tips on how to cope with a narcissist. But before going on, be warned: you will never be able to make a narcissistic person change its ways.

First, try not to think about your partner all day long: focus your attention on other things as well and be sure not to put your narcissist on a pedestal. Also, as the narcissist is a master at exploiting your weaknesses, try to make peace with your insecurities and find a way to accept you are not perfect and should not be so. Remind yourself daily the good parts of your relationship and don’t take their behavior personally – it’s only caused by their deeply ingrained insecurities. Also, try to set boundaries on what you consider acceptable and what is unacceptable between you two and act accordingly: if those boundaries are overpassed, decide consequences for unacceptable behavior and retaliate.

Finally, if things get out of hand and the situation is no longer controllable, be okay with taking into consideration ending your relationship or marriage, even if that seems like unacceptable by you. Sometimes, if something cannot be mended or simply gets too much out of hand, it might be better for all those involved that things end.


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